


Holding You

by shopfront



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Community: fandom_stocking, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-03
Updated: 2010-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-08 16:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/77569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/pseuds/shopfront
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgause desperately wants to comfort Morgana as she recovers. (Post-Season two)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [issahime](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=issahime).



The first few days are the worst, holding Morgana while she twists and cries in her arms and being unable to comfort her properly. They haven't yet been able to know each other well enough for Morgana to recognise her touch, and she still remains too deeply in her poisoned slumber to understand Morgause's words.

So she waits, she holds her hands and smoothes back her hair, and she does everything she can to ease her suffering until the slumber breaks.

The first day that Morgana is awake, she is delirious. She clutches at Morgause in desperate fear, then she pushes her away with fists and angry accusations of putting Morgana in danger, and then she cowers against her pillows and pleads for her life with a Merlin who isn't really there. It makes the anger in Morgause burn ever brighter to hear her strong, beautiful Morgana pleading for her life, but even her wrath can't tear her from Morgana's bedside.

Thankfully, Morgana's hallucinations pass quickly, only occurring for one day and one night, and from then on she is simply dispirited.

"You must eat a little more," Morgause urges her at every meal, staying by her side to steady the tray her food is balanced on, and pass her a goblet when she gets thirsty. But Morgana rarely does. Morgause refrains from setting up a bed on the floor, and leaves Morgana to her self for short periods of time once the hallucinations are past, but she cannot rest for so long without checking on her. So she haunts Morgana's doorway repeatedly between sunset and dawn, watching her toss and turn and cry out for mercy and having to dig her nails into the doorframe to anchor herself.

But occasionally it doesn't work. After four nights of reluctant restraint, Morgause slips out of bed and to the door of Morgana's room, only to find her sobbing in her sleep, and she can't help herself. She has respected Morgana's insistence that she needs to grieve on her own for what she left behind at Camelot, but the sound tears at her heart, and she has no strength left to ignore it.

"Morgana, Morgana," she whispers as she gathers her up in her arms. "Wake up, I'm here, you're safe. Morgana, you're alone."

She stirs, and returns the embrace, clumsy and confused by sleep but still crying. Morgause kisses the tears from her face, and then tucks Morgana's face into her neck, and slips into the bed beside her. Morgana quickly cries herself to sleep, their legs tangled together and their arms wrapped around each other, but her sleep is quiet and still. Her body is heavy against Morgauses, and she draws comfort from it. She could be content for the moment with being able to comfort Morgana, even if she couldn't yet make her happy again.

The next morning, Morgause expects to wake to complaints and defensive statements, but when she opens her eyes she finds Morgana already awake on the pillow beside her. She smiles when she realises Morgana is looking at her, and leans over to press a quick kiss on Morgause's lips in thanks.

After that, Morgause sleeps at Morgana's side every night. Some at better than others. Occasionally she kicks Morgause out for trying to wake her from a nightmare, or comfort her when she cries, but other times she turns into her willingly and clings to her until morning. When the season begins to change, Morgause finds Morgana staring at a small area of garden blankly.

"How long has it been since we left Camelot?" Morgana asks quietly without looking up.

"There've been three full moons since then," Morgause says warily, watching Morgana closely for some sign of approaching emotional turmoil.

"Well then, it's time to let Camelot go," she says and straightens her shoulders, turning to look at Morgause with a smile. It's tired, and a little frayed, but it's genuine and Morgause quirks her lips in return. Then she walks over, and strokes a hand down Morgana's arm.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," she says, and brushes her fingers over Morgana's bracelet to squeeze her hand. "I'm very glad."


End file.
